The thought of weaning

I had a realisation tonight.  My baby is 6 months old.  I have planned to breastfeed him until he’s a year old…halfway there.  And I’m so not ready to think about weaning.

I thought I would be eager to wean.  I thought I would be ready to have my boobs back, my room back, my bed back…

but it’s not that simple.

I always thought it was weird when mothers said that they loved nursing.  I guess I just thought of it anatomically instead of the connection side of it.  

And now, I am that mother saying to you that I love nursing.  Nursing is a time when I can cradle my baby, cuddle him, and savour my moments with him as a baby.  As he gets older and busier, nursing is a time when he is still and cuddly.  Nursing is a time when I can breathe in and relax, forgetting my anxieties and troubles.  Nursing not only provides me with a sacred time with my son, but also I know I am giving him the best gift of nourishment physically and emotionally.  I am giving him the gift of antibodies, vitamins, minerals, lowered risk of disease, and a place of comfort and security.  I’m giving myself a decreased risk of breast cancer and, again, time to sit down and quiet my soul.

It makes me cry to think about giving this beautiful ritual up anytime soon.  Because my baby wouldn’t wean on his own for 2-4 years, and maybe that’s what he needs.  Because when he does wean, he will be a little less my baby and a little more grown up.  And both of those realisations sting.  Oh, my heart.

I will cherish every second and hope that we’re both ready when the time comes…whether that’s at 1 year or beyond.

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Friday Schtuff

Hey y’all, thanks so much for sticking with me through all these heavy posts lately.  Now, lets have some fun and forget about all that for now.

I was super excited to see rings from geekology that resemble each Disney princess!  I love that there are engravings inside each ring, too!

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To see more, check it out at geekology.

And, speaking of Disney, I have obsessively looked up Disneybound outfits in all my spare time this week.  This is probably my favorite list of combos:

disneyboundI found this beauty on pinterest.  There are so many good ideas on pinterest.

Do you ever go back and read your old pins?  Sometimes I like to just look at the pictures, but this week, I went back and read “Timeline of a breastfed baby,” and I’m glad I did.  It helped me realise that Cody is not feeding less, but feeding more at night.  At 4-6 months, breastfeeding has reduced Cody’s risk of ear infections, respiratory tract diseases, cot death, eczema, asthma, childhood acute lymphoma leukemia, and acute myelogenous leukemia.  I am also in the 1% of mothers that are still breastfeeding.  Go me!  Read more about the first 2 years of breastfeeding here.

And, last but certainly  not least, I will leave you with this, because it made me snort with laughter:

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Happy Friday!

Exhaustion and teething.

Oh, Friends, I am so very exhausted tonight.  

Cody is teething, and every time I think he’s going to cut a tooth, his symptoms get more intense.  I keep wondering how much more intense they’re going to get before we see that first tooth.  

Last night, he wanted to be held all night.  Once, when I tried to put him down, he gagged.  Immediately, I sat him up, and his little tummy was convulsing to vomit.  He’s one of the “happy chucker” babies, but it was different than that.  It was a sick vomit, and he cried and cried…and I’m questioning whether or not my reintroduction of dairy has anything to do with it (I have started this week and that’s the only time he’s done that).  Or is it just another teething symptom?  It’s so hard to tell.  I desperately want it to just be a teething symptom so I can have sour cream on my nachos, but I just don’t know.  Do any of you have advice or information about how to tell if an older baby is intolerant to dairy or other foods in breast milk?  I’ve googled it and looked on kellymom to no clear avail.  

So, I didn’t sleep well last night, but I’m hoping I will tonight.  He was fine all day today (although he slept a lot more than usual).  Anyway, hopefully we’ll get a tooth soon.

Also, do teething symptoms stay the same until they get all their teeth, or do they get a bit better after the first couple of teeth?  I just can’t imagine two years of this, especially since coffee and my beloved tea makes Cody very fussy.  I wouldn’t mind the sleep deprivation so much if I could have a bit more caffeine.  Until then, I’m wearing my “don’t mess with me” face and enjoying my cuddles…even if they are in the middle of the night.

Quick update

Thank you all so much for your sweet words of congrats and encouragement.

Things are going ok but we’ve had a rough road. Breastfeeding has not come easily at all, but I am determined. My little man was on the verge of dehydration because my supply is so low. So we are supplementing with a supply line and working on increasing my supply. Turns out women with pcos have a hard time keeping up a good supply. Ah well…we will get there.

I will try to update more soon. Thanks for reading.

28 weeks: Glucose test results, colostrum, and weddings

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28 weeks pregnant!

I have so much to tell you from this week, so I will dive right in.  The best part of my week included getting my glucose test results back.  My midwife described them as perfect!  No gestational diabetes for me.  🙂  She sent me the lab results to keep in my records, and it said my level was 4.7 (if it’s greater than 7, they do the 2 hour fasting test).  So relieved!

Along with that was my midwife appointment.  We discussed different things, like preparing our parents for the type of parenting we’ll be doing now rather than waiting until the issues come up after the baby arrives.  More on that later.  She checked where the baby is lying, and at the moment, baby boy is breech.  😦  I figured this was the case because the kicks I feel are always low and never up near my ribcage.  He still has time to turn, though, so I’m hoping he will before 34 weeks.  When she checked the heartbeat with the doppler, it was just slightly irregular.  She said this is nothing to worry about but something to keep an eye on.  I told her if she’s not concerned then I’m not concerned.  If we continue to see this, she will discuss it with the ob’s at the hospital and see if they want me to get another ultrasound (not something I want, but if it’s to make sure he’s safe, then so be it).

Another exciting thing that came about was one of my breasts began producing colostrum!  It may seem silly, but I’m excited for this.  My mom had trouble breastfeeding (in fact, she only breastfed us all for 3 weeks), so any signs pointing toward good milk production and breastfeeding=okay in my book.

This past weekend, I was a bridesmaid in one of my friend’s weddings.  It was different than any wedding I’ve been to up to this stage, but it was still beautiful.  I will say that being pregnant and a bridesmaid is a lot more tiring than I anticipated.  We started with hair and beauty appointments at 9 a.m. and hub and I finally left the wedding at 9 p.m (I felt so rude but just really needed to rest at that stage).  Anyway, my feet were swollen the rest of the weekend (just call me cankles).

28 weeks cravings: SUGAR!  Because my midwife had me on the special diet, I had to cut back and cut out sugar for the week preceding my glucose challenge test.  Oh man, I missed it.  The night of the best, I ate a cupcake and some candy corn and immediately regretted it because I felt so sick from all the sugar.

Aversions: None really.

Symptoms: Hip pain, colostrum leak, breast tenderness, feet swelling, braxston hicks

Hope you all have a great week!

The Breastfeeding Debate

I don’t know about you, but I have noticed an undercurrent of attitude associated with breastfeeding nowadays.  Women who advocate breastfeeding are–dare I say it–rude in the way they communicate their views.  I understand that they want to feel uninhibited in society to feed their baby and blah blah blah.  I understand that “baby shouldn’t have to eat in the bathroom ’cause we don’t” and blah blah blah.  What I DON’T understand is the fact that if I, as a soon to be mom, have made the decision that I think breastfeeding in public is inappropriate, I am scorned and scolded for having this view.  If this is about our right to decide, then why should my viewpoint be taboo?

A few weeks ago, a girl posted this on facebook:

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“If seeing this offends you but seeing this doesn’t then you, friend, are a hypocrite.”

My comment was, “What if you’re offended by both?”  to which I then explained that while breastfeeding itself is certainly not offensive to me (in fact, I’m all for it), doing so in public is.  In the same way that I don’t appreciate a woman wearing a bikini top around my husband and the other men trying to live godly lives, I don’t appreciate a woman breastfeeding her baby and making these men uncomfortable or tempting them to look.  After a long drawn out debate, the girl’s response to me was that I don’t understand because I haven’t had my baby yet…WHAT?  Just because my baby is not out of the womb yet does NOT mean that I don’t understand the principles and morals behind the matter.

To me, the core behind this attitude of breastfeeding moms is rebellion.  “I can do what I want when I want and how dare you try to stop me.”  This attitude is inconsiderate toward men, toward other children who’s parents may not want them to see a stranger’s boobs, and the women with those men and children.  It would be one thing if these women were trying to advocate designated breastfeeding areas or a woman’s right to choose how to feed her baby…but this just simply isn’t the whole issue.  If this was the whole issue, it wouldn’t matter if I disagreed with these other moms.  They would support my right to decide and to protect my family.

Let me be very clear in saying that I advocate breastfeeding…just not public breastfeeding.  Like it or not, breasts are a sexual object (God created them this way, which is a wonderful thing) and while, yes, one of their functions is feeding, this should be done in private because of the temptation that a sexual body part brings.  I plan to breastfeed my baby and supplement with pumped breast milk or find a discreet feeding area (which they do have in many shopping centers and places if you really want to find them).

So what do you think?  Will I lose any followers over this politically incorrect post?  I hope not.