A glimpse or two

When I wrote about my anxiety, I couldn’t see an end in sight.  I knew I wanted to start trusting God to heal me, but I had my doubts.  

Slowly, assuredly, I have had glimpses of the healing that has started to take place.

I walked away from two (not one but two) conversations in the last week and realised I didn’t feel awkward or anxious through them at all.  And they were with acquaintances.  This is a miracle in itself.

I have had a few good days…when I felt happy again.

Daniel and I have had some real honest conversations where I opened up fully and he listened.  I must clarify that anything different has come from me and not him, as I have a hard time truly opening up, like I talked about in my anxiety post.

These may seem like incredibly small and ordinary occurrences  but I have to tell you…they have given me hope, and hope alone has eased some of the anxiety in my heart.

Friday Funsies

So today, I got my hair cut.  My friend, Claire, was kind enough to come to my house and cut Daniel’s, Cody’s and my hair.  We didn’t get much cut off of Cody, but he had some really funky long hairs at the front that never fell out and they made him look a bit silly.  So, she evened them out.  Anyway, I asked her about dyeing it and she said not to use hair dye from the supermarket (I didn’t tell her I already had a box in my cupboard).  So, I’m going with her Monday to a beauty supply shop and buying the dye and some macadamia oil shampoo that she suggested.  Can’t wait!Image

I have jealously watched all my American friends start to enjoy summer while here in Australia the weather is cooling more each week.  So, naturally, my obsession with scarves has skyrocketed.  Like this tutorial on the bow.  So cute, right?  I have a few scarves that I bought the time I went to Europe.  I bought them at the dodgy street vendors that probably ship them all over the world.  I didn’t care, though, because I could still say that I bought them in Europe.  And I still love them.  I think a scarf can make any outfit a little more sophisticated.

My other current obsession, particularly on Pinterest, is home decor.  We have decided to move to the nearest city and out of the farm town we’ve lived in for the past 3.5 years.  We’ll be moving in September (the lease is up on my birthday, in fact), and I am beyond excited.  I’ve mentioned before that I’m a city girl, and I am so excited to be getting back to a place of convenience and hustle-bustle that city life brings.  We are going to downsize, which will be perfect for me as I haven’t kept up with keeping our current place up to my standard of cleanliness and have not been able to figure out where to start in decorating.  There aren’t the same caliber of home decor places here, and I find the stores that do center around home decor lack originality.  So, I’ve perused quite a bit and am excited to try a few ideas once we move.  Until then, I have to sell a lot of stuff and get packing/organising.  

To my delight, also, Lost in Austen is on hulu this week.  If you haven’t watched this mini series, please go watch it now.  It’s about a girl who ends up switching places with Elisabeth Bennet from Pride & Prejudice and, of course, a lot of things go differently than Jane Austen wrote in the book.  It’s one of those series where you can sit down with a cup of tea and enjoy the timeless kind of girliness it portrays.  A great one to watch if your hubby is gone for the evening.

I have much more to share about my week, but thoughts that come from a wellspring deep in me that I fear are too intense for a Friday Fun post.  Stay tuned and have a lovely Friday.




Reflections: Simplicity

In my life right now, I find simplicity in small moments.

Having a normal, child free, conversation with my husband (and over dinner to boot).

Having a normal social interaction with out feeling anxious or awkward.

Cooking dinner child free.

Making Cody laugh.

For an over analyser like myself, I have to find simplicity in the daily living, because my life will almost always look complicated overall.  There will be many moments of anxiety, frustration, and feeling like a failure.  So I cling to the simple moments, the treasured morsels of time when God shows me that there is normalcy in my life…that I can be a normal person.

Would I like to throw caution to the wind and take pictures while cycling all day?  Sure.  Knowing me, though, I would analyse so much that it’d lose its simplicity anyway.  Might as well cheers to my beautiful, crazy life and embrace each moment.  Amen and amen.

Flashback: Simplicity

Toward the end of my high school career, my piano teacher and I became close enough that we could share ideas with each other.  One day she showed me a book of a man that had decided to simplify his life by quitting his job, selling all he owned, buying a bike and a camera and going around taking photos all day long.  She longed to simplify her life in the same way.

Many times, as my life has felt busy and complicated, I have thought back to that man that takes pictures.  I’ve thought how blissful that sounds–No job, no deadlines; just a bike, the sunshine and beautiful photos to testify of creation.

Then, I realised, some days it will rain.  On those rainy days, life will still be a little more complicated than we’d like.  Not only that, but relationships are complicated.  We can’t live alone.  God created us to be in fellowship and unity with other people, and so relationships interfere with our simplistic goals.

As wonderful and important as simplifying our lives is, I realise that complete simplification isn’t possible.  What I am glad about is the Guide, the Counselor, that I have to help me with the complications.

Food poisoning, etc.

My sweet boy sleeps beside me, and I have no idea what to write.  The past few days have felt trying, because I got food poisoning from some bad salmon.  Yuck.  I haven’t really been sick since Cody’s birth, so I had a new experience taking care of him and trying to rest at the same time.  I think I could fully recover if it wasn’t for the extra energy I had to put into him.  Not only that, but he is starting to cut a tooth, so these past few days have been a bit difficult–especially since we lost his amber bracelet…again.  We’ve decided to order some extras and are frantically looking for the one we lost.

Moments with my boy have been sweet, though.  The other day, he was settling for a nap and turned toward me, looked at me, grabbed my hair, kept looking at me and gently fell asleep.  It’s such a wonderful feeling to know you are a comfort to someone.  And when he does that I think about how much none of us want to be alone.  

Plans are in the works for my hair.  I’m getting it cut on Friday and might just dye it this weekend. Here’s hoping I don’t get food poisoning again.  And thanks for all your encouragement!

Hope y’all had a great weekend.

P.S. I missed the memo on the super moon or whatever.  Did any of you see it?


This week seems to be food related, and that could be because my focus has been on eating a healthy diet via Trim Healthy Mama.  Plus, the homeopath told me to cut out soda, so I’ve had to improvise.  


Photo from gwens-nest.com (Also where this yummy recipe came from)

Yesterday, I had plans to have a few friends over for tea/coffee and girl chat.  I planned to make this dip.  They texted last minute and said they couldn’t make it.  I made the dip today and ate it all myself.  It tasted divine.


Another recipe I’d like to try is this grain free, sugar free tiramisu.  I love tiramisu.  Ever since I first went to Olive Garden, it’s been my favorite dessert (don’t judge).  So I plan to make this version of it very soon and give it a try.  I’ll let you know how it turns out when I do.

I don’t know if any of you follow The Skeptical Mother on facebook, but she posted an absolutely amazing, heartwarming story today.  It caught my attention when it said a mother saved an abandoned babies’ life.  Wow.  I immediately clicked and read about this pregnant woman and her husband who found a baby girl basically dead on the side of the road and tried to revive her.  Nothing was working, but it occurred to the mom that she already had milk she could feed this baby with.  Miraculously the baby nursed and started improving immediately.  I had tears in my eyes when I read through the story, and I hope that we would all choose the same for any sweet baby we found.  Go have a read.

And if you follow my pinterest, you’ll know how completely obsessed I’ve been with hair this week.  I cut my hair a couple of months after Cody was born and have regretted it ever since.  I needed to at the time, because showering took far too long since Cody wouldn’t sleep more than 30 minutes at a time, but I have missed my long hair ever since.  I’m working on growing it out, and until then searched for a new style.  I also think I’m going to color it red.  Now, I’ve had my hair red before, and it suited me, but that was a gingery natural sort of red.  This time, I want a bold red that no one can ignore.  I just want to make sure it’s a good reason not to ignore.  Anyway, all that to say, here are a few pins of hairstyles/colors that I fell in love with on pinterest this week.








I think getting ahold of my hair style again will give me a little more oomph in my step, but I’m also afraid that I’ll regret it like I did when I cut it.  Opinions?

Admittedly, I already bought a box of hair dye, I’m just waiting for a time when I feel spontaneous enough to use it.  And, I’m having a friend cut my hair on Monday (she is a hairstylist by trade), so I’ve been looking so I know what to tell her.  I sure hope I can get something nice that I like this time.

Have a lovely weekend.

Count your blessings

Today I talked with an elderly friend about my anxiety, and we agreed that even though life can be difficult, there are always others who have had it worse than us.  

I know I’ve written about feeling homesick and shared with you how hard it can feel to live overseas.  This video…I relate to it so much, and yet I feel inspired by the man.  I’m not in this alone (even though it sometimes feels lonely).  He had to leave everything and everyone he knew and come live in a completely different world all by himself.  Wow.  I am blown away.

Count your blessings name them one by one.

Count your blessings see what God has done.

Count your many blessings name them one by one.

Count your many blessings see what God has done.

Be still…

I started a breathing exercise for my anxiety in the past couple of days and was advised to think of a word or phrase to repeat to myself while doing the exercise.

Be still and know that I am God.

Today, as I went about my day, I did the exercise and repeated this verse to myself.  One such time happened when I nursed Cody.  Not a sound in the house, my baby was contentedly feeding, and suddenly, my heart was still.  Still.  

When you feel anxious and your thoughts gallop away, stillness is not an option.  At that moment, peace and stillness washed over me, though. 

And then I realised…God helped me to continue nursing for a reason.  He knew I would need these quiet moments with my baby to have a few minutes of peace every day…to be still…and to acknowledge that He is God and has everything under control, even when I don’t.  I am so thankful for my milk supply, a good latch, and my sweet time with Cody when he’s nursing.  It’s a time when I know that something I do is life sustaining and beautiful.  Thank you, Lord.