I’m still here…

…And still pregnant. 

I really thought I was in labor the other night.  I had contractions that were 10 minutes apart, then 7, then 5, etc…and I was so excited.  Finally, I thought…I will get to meet my son.  Not only this, but it was my due date.  I had several hours of contractions before calling my midwife and deciding to go ahead to her house (where I’m having the baby).  I woke my husband up and we took time to pack the car and make our way over.  Well, when we left the house, the contractions started to get irregular.  No worries, I thought, they will pick back up when I get settled at her house.  I knew contractions can be disrupted by moving places.  So, we arrived at her house, and after about an hour, I started to get some contractions again…however, they were no stronger and no closer together.  No progress.  I was frustrated and embarrassed, and so so disappointed.  Needless to say, that day was incredibly difficult.  And each morning that I wake up with no contractions, I am sad and disappointed all over again.

I have never been more thankful for the fact that we can put all our trust in Jesus.  I have never sought His peace more.  I think this is the hardest waiting game I’ve ever had to endure, and it’s truly testing my resilience.  He is faithful, though.  Hymns and the Word are like the most healing of balms to my soul each morning.  I feel sad and have a bit of a cry and then seek Him through these things…and my soul is soothed.

In the meantime, here are the things I’ve been doing to move things along, just in case one of them actually works:

  • Evening primrose oil: Using as a suppository since 39 weeks (2 capsules).
  • Dates.  Been eating 6 a day for a month.
  • Walking.  20 minutes a day, briskly.  
  • Bouncing on birth ball.  I still wonder if this actually does anything, but it can’t  hurt, right?
  • Stretch and sweep (membrane sweep).  I finally gave into this on my due date.  I felt so discouraged, I thought it wouldn’t hurt to give it a go.  Since then, I have had a lot of cramping and feelings of change.  I was already starting to lose some of my plug/show, but this kicked it into high gear.  I’m hoping to see more results soon (it’s been a bit over 24 hours since getting it), but trying not to expect it, either.

Anyway, I hope you all are doing great.  Thanks for your prayers and for reading.  🙂 

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20 thoughts on “I’m still here…

    • Indeed! I think I wouldn’t have started being so upset if I hadn’t gotten so very excited by the false alarm only to realise that I had to continue being uncomfortable and waiting. Ah, well, he will come soon. 🙂 Thanks for commenting.

  1. I was actually thinking about you today and wondering if you were past your due date or if you had delivered yet! I share your “impatience” if you will….and like you, I am just trying to be strong in remembering it’s all in God’s timing. Hopefully we meet our boys very soon! Take it easy!

    • We will meet our boys soon! It’s just amazing how long “soon” can feel in the last couple of weeks of uncomfortable waiting. I have found deep comfort in your posts lately knowing I’m not alone. Praying for your last days of pregnancy and delivery. 🙂

  2. Sorry!!! The last weeks are SO hard!!! Tell me how bad the membrane sweep hurt please! I think my DR did it when she induced me because at some point she said she was checking me and I almost kicked her in the face it hurt so bad, I suspected she did it then and just didn’t tell me since I was already freaking out!

    • The membrane sweep was a bit painful. It felt like period cramping and round ligament pain together…I think that’s the best description I have. It wasn’t unbearable for me, though, but I think everyone’s tolerance is different. At that point in time, I was desperate to do something, so the pain outweighed the potential benefit. It takes a few minutes, too. I haven’t been checked, so I don’t know how long that takes, but the sweep took about 5 minutes from start to finish. I hope that helps! Thanks for your encouragement. 🙂

  3. Oh man, I am imagining how tough this must be for you! I’m praying for you and I KNOW that things will work out the way they are supposed to and your son will be in your arms at exactly the right time. 🙂 Try to stay rested up!

    • Thank you so much! I covet your prayers and know that the Lord is helping me through each day. I know His timing is perfect and try to remember that when I’m discouraged. I will blink and my son will be here, so I’m trying to just enjoy the time I have left (even with all the aches and pains). Thanks for commenting. 🙂

  4. Pingback: Gotta Love a Liebster « Sustainably Single Parenting

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