The last few days, I’ve found myself feeling sad. Honestly, it makes me feel a little crazy that I’m sad, because I’m about to welcome a beautiful little boy into the world. I sat yesterday pondering why I’m sad, and I realised it’s because I have limited time with just me and my husband left. Of course, I knew this was coming…the whole 9 months, I’ve been thinking about savoring every second I have with just him…but now that it’s here, now that I could have my son anytime, I’m becoming fiercely protective of my time left with just me and hubby. And, of course, this is the time when everyone wants to catch up with us before the baby comes (which is lovely), but I just want to curl up in our cocoon and be left alone until we get settled with the baby. Plus, I’m feeling increasingly uncomfortable, which adds to my crankiness with people popping by our house or wanting to have coffee or whatever.
I guess the only thing I can do is lean into these feelings and allow myself to process them as much as possible. I think they are what’s holding off labor right now (it is really such a mental thing, I think), so I’m working on it. There are a couple of things I want to see and do with hubby (like see the Hobbit movie) before the baby comes, and I have a feeling the baby will feel more comfortable arriving after I’m settled with those things.
Anyone else feeling this way?
Please don’t mistake this post as being in any way unhappy about the baby coming. I am beyond thrilled to meet my son and know him…and beyond thrilled to move on to the next chapter…it’s just a bittersweet time.