The closing of a beautiful chapter

The last few days, I’ve found myself feeling sad.  Honestly, it makes me feel a little crazy that I’m sad, because I’m about to welcome a beautiful little boy into the world.  I sat yesterday pondering why I’m sad, and I realised it’s because I have limited time with just me and my husband left.  Of course, I knew this was coming…the whole 9 months, I’ve been thinking about savoring every second I have with just him…but now that it’s here, now that I could have my son anytime, I’m becoming fiercely protective of my time left with just me and hubby.  And, of course, this is the time when everyone wants to catch up with us before the baby comes (which is lovely), but I just want to curl up in our cocoon and be left alone until we get settled with the baby.  Plus, I’m feeling increasingly uncomfortable, which adds to my crankiness with people popping by our house or wanting to have coffee or whatever.

I guess the only thing I can do is lean into these feelings and allow myself to process them as much as possible.  I think they are what’s holding off labor right now (it is really such a mental thing, I think), so I’m working on it.  There are a couple of things I want to see and do with hubby (like see the Hobbit movie) before the baby comes, and I have a feeling the baby will feel more comfortable arriving after I’m settled with those things.

Anyone else feeling this way?

Please don’t mistake this post as being in any way unhappy about the baby coming.  I am beyond thrilled to meet my son and know him…and beyond thrilled to move on to the next chapter…it’s just a bittersweet time.


7 thoughts on “The closing of a beautiful chapter

  1. I had similar feelings. I was so excited to meet them, but I wanted to hold it off a little longer. I still want to go back to the days when I was pregnant. Personally I don’t think ill ever stop missing it even though having the girls here is amazing!

    • I guess the key will be to find those little pockets of time where it’s just me and him again. And to be so so thankful for the beautiful time we’ve had together before our son enters the world.

  2. I definitely felt that way, and now, looking back, it was absolutely vital that I did savor those last few days with just my husband (they ended up being even fewer than we expected). Once the baby arrives, life is completely different. The end of pregnancy can be so uncomfortable, but having the baby outside is a lot more work than having him inside 🙂 Oh, and I also quit wanting to see people at the end of pregnancy. I think it’s all normal. Enjoy your last little bit of pregnancy!

  3. You are definitely not alone… I feel the same way at times, asking myself, “why did I want this so badly when we are so happy with the way things are?” And “things will NEVER be the same”. I too am looking forward to our little guy, but I know exactly where you’re coming from. Things have got to be normal feelings though.

    • They must be normal, which is such a comfort to me! I know it will be beautiful, but what you said about being happy with the way things are…oh man, that is exactly how I’ve felt in the last week or so. I guess it’s something we all have to process and acknowledge before we can move on to the next step. 🙂

  4. Pingback: Happy Blogiversary! | laughingpromises

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