The Breastfeeding Debate

I don’t know about you, but I have noticed an undercurrent of attitude associated with breastfeeding nowadays.  Women who advocate breastfeeding are–dare I say it–rude in the way they communicate their views.  I understand that they want to feel uninhibited in society to feed their baby and blah blah blah.  I understand that “baby shouldn’t have to eat in the bathroom ’cause we don’t” and blah blah blah.  What I DON’T understand is the fact that if I, as a soon to be mom, have made the decision that I think breastfeeding in public is inappropriate, I am scorned and scolded for having this view.  If this is about our right to decide, then why should my viewpoint be taboo?

A few weeks ago, a girl posted this on facebook:

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“If seeing this offends you but seeing this doesn’t then you, friend, are a hypocrite.”

My comment was, “What if you’re offended by both?”  to which I then explained that while breastfeeding itself is certainly not offensive to me (in fact, I’m all for it), doing so in public is.  In the same way that I don’t appreciate a woman wearing a bikini top around my husband and the other men trying to live godly lives, I don’t appreciate a woman breastfeeding her baby and making these men uncomfortable or tempting them to look.  After a long drawn out debate, the girl’s response to me was that I don’t understand because I haven’t had my baby yet…WHAT?  Just because my baby is not out of the womb yet does NOT mean that I don’t understand the principles and morals behind the matter.

To me, the core behind this attitude of breastfeeding moms is rebellion.  “I can do what I want when I want and how dare you try to stop me.”  This attitude is inconsiderate toward men, toward other children who’s parents may not want them to see a stranger’s boobs, and the women with those men and children.  It would be one thing if these women were trying to advocate designated breastfeeding areas or a woman’s right to choose how to feed her baby…but this just simply isn’t the whole issue.  If this was the whole issue, it wouldn’t matter if I disagreed with these other moms.  They would support my right to decide and to protect my family.

Let me be very clear in saying that I advocate breastfeeding…just not public breastfeeding.  Like it or not, breasts are a sexual object (God created them this way, which is a wonderful thing) and while, yes, one of their functions is feeding, this should be done in private because of the temptation that a sexual body part brings.  I plan to breastfeed my baby and supplement with pumped breast milk or find a discreet feeding area (which they do have in many shopping centers and places if you really want to find them).

So what do you think?  Will I lose any followers over this politically incorrect post?  I hope not.

19 weeks: *Cough cough*, antibiotics, *cough*

My cough escalated to the point that I started feeling I would never get better.  I had several nights where I would wake up gagging and had to run to the nearest sink to throw up.  Mainly, I would just gag and dry heave, but some of the time I would throw up.  Not only that, but the coughing itself was completely exhausting.  So, after one night where I hardly slept at all, I finally caved and made a doctor’s appointment AND a homeopath appointment.  I went to the homeopath first.

A homeopath is basically a herbalist who takes a holistic approach.  So, the appointment was an hour and a half long and involved me talking about my cough, my eating habits, my family history, my emotions, and everything in between.  It was almost like a counseling session.  At the end, she gave me some drops to take a few times a day and sent me on my way.

The doctor was a short and sweet appointment, as they usually are.  She prescribed me an antibiotic and told me of some medicine I could take if I needed to and sent me on my way.  I made sure to ask her about the risks associated with the antibiotic and then researched it when I came home as well.  

I’m not sure if it was mainly the drops or the antibiotic, but that afternoon, upon taking both, that tickling sensation in my chest started to dissipate.  I was coughing slightly less by that evening and have recovered a little more each day since.  I finished my antibiotics last night.  I do have to say, too, that the drops do seem to help when I’m coughing.  I had a bad experience with a naturopath (in which they gave me all sorts of pills and concoctions to take that didn’t do a thing but cost me heaps), so I was a little skeptical of the homeopath.  I think I’m a believer now, though!

Anyway, baby’s kicks are getting stronger and more frequent, which I am LOVING.  I still can’t feel it fromImage the outside yet, but it should only be a matter of time.  I can’t wait until hubby can feel the kicks I’m feeling.  Either way, we are going for our first (and possibly only) ultrasound on Friday!  I can’t wait!  I can’t wait to see who’s nose little bean has and how they move around and, of course, find out the gender!  I have been thinking it was going to be a boy up until this point, but I’m starting to second guess myself.  My mom insists it will be a girl, and I think my competitive spirit wants my instinct to be right over hers…and now I’m feeling guilty for feeling that way, so I’m second guessing my instinct.  Don’t get me wrong, though, I will be absolutely delighted with either a girl or a boy.  

On another note, my tummy is starting to feel heavy and a slight bit cumbersome.  I’m having a harder time bending over and getting up out of a seat…and I know I am in for a lot more where that came from.  If it means baby is growing healthy and strong, though, I will not complain.

Congratulations to you mamas who found out the gender of your little ones recently!  I am so excited for you and continue to pray for happy and healthy pregnancies and babies.

18 week: Coughing, kicks, and a maternity appointment

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18 weeks pregnant! Wearing maternity clothes exclusively now.

I had a much better week as far as emotions go.  I did, however, catch a cold/cough combo from someone and have been miserably coughing my lungs up all week.  I’m going to do a post on it, but it basically entailed a lot of rest and lemon tea.  The good news is, I’m starting to get my energy back a little and had a beautiful day off on Friday.  Not only that, but baby’s movements are getting stronger!  A few times I’ve felt taps rather than flutters, which I can only assume are kicks.  Then, yesterday, I felt a really good kick.  I can’t wait until hubby can feel them, too.  Shouldn’t be long.  

So, Friday, I went to a birth prep group where we talked about nutrition.  I didn’t really learn anything new, but it was good to get a refresher on it.  After that, I had my first hair appointment since March.  I have lived in Australia for 3 years and haven’t found a hairdresser I liked.  So, Friday, hopeful and optimistic, I arrived at a salon my friend had recommended.  Well, I was so incredibly impressed and so glad to finally have found a good hairdresser!  What a big difference it makes when you LOVE your haircut and style.  She blow dried my hair and then waved it with a straightener.  Plus, the whole time, they were doting on how beautiful, thick, and healthy my hair is.  To give you an idea, the lady said she shampooed my hair 3 times because I have so much.  This is normal for me.  Anyway, it felt great to get pampered and have some professionals tell me how nice my hair is.  I only wished I could’ve had them do my hair for my wedding…but that’s a whole other tangent.

After my hair appointment, I had a midwife appointment which went very very well.  I FINALLY got the ultrasound order and go in a little less than two weeks to find out the gender!  I can’t WAIT!  Anyway, she went to find the heartbeat.  Baby was wanting to hide again, but this time I could feel where it was moving.  She said this far along, she needed to find the heartbeat to make sure everything was okay (up until this point, if she couldn’t find it quickly, she would give up).  So, she got comfortable and determined to find it (which I was happy with, of course).  Finally, she found it, and we listened to it for probably a minute or so.  It was a beautiful sound.  She said it was a lovely strong heartbeat (yay!) and sounded just like what she wants to hear.  

Not much else to report this week!  Hope y’all are okay!

Cravings: Chocolate mug cake, fudge, sweet chilli and sour cream rice crackers, panang curry (which resulted in indigestion…probably won’t be doing that again).

Aversions: None that I can think of.  Still don’t want fish.

Symptoms: dry skin/nose, indigestion, stronger movements and a few kicks, breakouts

 

Writing a birth plan: Getting started

Before getting pregnant, I knew that I would want to write a birth plan when the time came.  The task has been a little overwhelming, but I am finding the research extremely helpful in feeling informed and in control.  I have been reading the book, “Creating your birth plan: The Definitive Guide to a Safe and Empowering Birth” by Marsden Wagner M.D, M.S.  This book goes through every possibility in labor and delivery, from c sections to herbal pain relievers to episiotomies and beyond.  It touches on the risks and benefits of each decision and what questions you can ask in order to make an informed decision.  So far, I have been primarily using this book to help me with my decisions.  I am, by no means, done with my birth plan, but reading this book and putting down all my desires on paper is helping me to have a confident approach in birthing this baby.  I would highly recommend it.

Keep in mind while writing your birth plan that it is like a road map.  It is a guide of where you want to end up (with a healthy baby and mom), but the plan is not set in stone.  What relieves me about writing out my birth plan is the fact that I can consider the other routes that may be possible and decide ahead of time what’s important to me.

My birth plan is set on having as natural a birth as possible with as little intervention as necessary.  I realize not all of you will feel the same way about your birth, which is totally cool!  This is only to give you an example of what a birth plan can look like and give you some ideas about what you may or may not want.  Keep in mind, also, that I am not finished completely yet, but the bigger decisions are made.  The things I add will be smaller preferences more than anything else.  

This is my birth plan so far.  I hope it helps!

 

C Section: 

In the rare case that I may be recommended to have a c-section, all other options must be exhausted first.  I want a second opinion if this is recommended to me.  The following are what I am willing to concur to a c section for: 

  • Too fast or too slow fetal heart rate.  This will require more than one opinion.
  • Complete placenta previa.  
  • Abrupted placenta.
  • Transverse lie.  If baby cannot be turned.
  • Prolapsed cord.
  • Hyperstimulated uterus. 
  • Uterine Rupture.
  • Preeclampsia.  This will require more than one opinion.

 On the other hand, these reasons for recommending a c section will be questioned profusely before I will agree:

  • The baby is “overdue.”  Unless the baby is in distress, this is not a good enough reason for a c section.
  • The baby is too big.  This will require a second opinion and confirmation of the size of the baby.
  • The baby in breech position. Unless the baby is in distress, this is not a good enough reason for a c section.
  • Fibroids.
  • Diabetes.
  • Watching the clock (“Failure to progress”).  
  • Preventing damage to the pelvic floor.

 Epidural

My desire is not to have an epidural.  I will consider an epidural in these cases:

  • Cesarean section.
  • Extreme exhaustion. If I am not able to adequately rest, I will consider an epidural for a few hours of relief in order to rest.

 Uterine Stimulation

I do not want any inductions of labour.  I will consider induction only in these cases:

  • The baby is significantly overdue. AFTER 42 weeks.  Before this, only if the baby is in trouble.
  • Placental malfunction.  (the baby isn’t moving around as much as it should be or has stopped growing).
  • The baby is too small for its gestational age.
  • Preeclampsia.  This will require a second opinion and more than just an elevated blood pressure.
  • Water breaks. With no sign of infection, wait 48 hours before considering induction.
  • The baby is showing signs of oxygen deprivation. This will require a second opinion on the reading of the fetal monitor papers.

 The following reasons will NOT be considered for induction:

  • The baby is “too big.”
  • Gestational diabetes.
  • Too much (or too little) amniotic fluid in the bag of waters.
  • “Failure to progress.”

If induction must occur based on the above criteria, I want Pitocin, Cervidil, or Prepidil.  I do not UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES want Cytotec (misoprostol or prostaglandin).

Antibiotics 

Antibiotics can be given only if betahemolytic streptococcus is detected and puts my baby at risk.  Antibiotics can also be given if I have a low-grade fever that is found in a blood test as well as temperature.  Any cases other than this will not require antibiotics, thus I do not want them.

Electronic Fetal Monitoring

I do not want EFM unless trouble develops (Induction, too fast or too slow fetal heartbeat, Baby in breech).  EFM is not to be a routine part of my labour and delivery.

 IV

No IVs unless:

  • Dehydration occurs
  • Inability to tolerate food (and need it for strength and nourishment)
  • In the event of an epidural

 Lithotomy

Being on my back is not to happen under any circumstances!!!  This is unnecessary and doesn’t help me as a labouring mum.

 Instrumental birth

 Vacuum extraction is only to happen if there is fetal distress late into the birth or if the baby is oxygen deprived.

 Forceps are not to be used UNLESS the vacuum extraction did not accomplish the goal under the criteria mentioned above.

Episiotomy

An episiotomy is NOT to be performed unless forceps are being used (which they shouldn’t be).

I want my placenta.  It should not be thrown away or given into the hospitals care.

 

17 weeks: facebook annoyance, emotional roller coasters, and more weight gain

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17 weeks! Baby is 5.5 inches long.

This week was incredibly emotional.  I’m sure you all have friends who have posted on the infamous chik fil a debate on facebook.  Well, I am not here to share my opinion, but I am here to share with you that it really bummed me out.  Seeing so many people posting opinions JUST to argue on facebook has really made me feel discouraged.  Plus, because of my family background, I want to argue my point, too…probably so that I won’t feel stupid for disagreeing.  So, it has me thinking about my family life growing up and how much it sucked plus how incredibly irritating it is to get on facebook to catch up with friends that live in a different country and have everyone posting condescending and agressive posts about chik fil a or breastfeeding in public, etc.

Don’t get me wrong, I am all for people having the freedom to share their opinion.  Sharing it and fighting over it, however, are two completely different things.  How can we get to the point where we are able to hear another person’s opinion and share ours with out arguing over it?  

And this all brings me to another part of the week.  Thinking about my family life growing up has me reflecting on this baby and the family life that Daniel and I will be creating for it and any future kids we have.  I don’t want to turn out like my verbally abusive, narcissistic father…I don’t want my kids to learn that they have to argue or yell in order to be heard…I don’t want them to ever know what it’s like to be manipulated by someone who is supposed to be protecting them the most.  There is my fear.  I know most of these behaviors I have learned to move past and most likely will not pass along to my kids at all.  I also realistically know, however, that some of them I have as a result of being the child of a parent that acts like that…and I want to learn to move past those tendencies so that my kids will have a wholesome and loving family environment.  I dreaded spending time with my family, because it meant arguing or listening to someone argue with my dad.  It meant hearing my dad disgrace my mother in front of all of us.  It meant listening to my dad verbally masturbate (this is a term the counselors gave it) for 2-3 hours on nonsense just to prove that he was in charge of the family.  We weren’t allowed to speak (which is why we ended up yelling what we needed to say, because if we tried to speak, we would be interrupted or get in trouble).  

Anyway, I want our kids to be so excited to have family times (within normal excitement) and go on vacations.  I want them to feel like they can say what they need to say and be heard.  I want them to look back on their childhood one day and be so overwhelmed with gratefulness and cherished memories.  I really hope God can help me be this type of mother and create this type of environment.

On top of all that, I weighed myself yesterday morning and have gained another 5 lbs…probably from all the emotional, sugary eating I have done in the past week.  So, I am cracking down on myself and working on eating super healthy again like I did before I got pregnant.  Don’t worry, I don’t mean counting calories or any of that…just upping my veggie intake (I eat plenty of fruit already) and making sure my meals are balanced instead of eating more cheese/dairy/sugar/junk than anything else.  I know I will feel much better and my weight gain will balance out if I am working harder to keep my baby nourished in a healthier fashion.

Cravings: Sweets for sure.  

Aversions: None.

Symptoms: Emotional, acne, dry stuffy nose, dry eyes, dry skin.

Rings are still on and my clothes are getting tight.  Ordered some maternity clothes from Old Navy which should arrive here in Australia in the next few weeks.  Can’t wait to wear them!